SNEAK PREVIEW OF GONC'S NEW BOOK

Leonor Cipriano was brutally tortured by agents of the various Portuguese Judicial Police who remain unidentified;


 Gonçalo Amaral de Sousa lied to the judiciary by claiming that Leonor Cipriano "fell down the stairs of the PJ in Faro and was not tortured," and is therefore condemned as a perpetrator of a crime of making false allegations to 1 year and 6 months of the sentence in prison, suspended for the same period (1 year and 6 months)

THE GONC GUIDE TO FINDING MISSING CHILDREN

1. Get phone call telling you a child is missing.

Shrug, and carry on drinking - what's that got to do with an important man like you?

2. Wake up next day and get reminded a child is missing.

Go to cafe for coffee and hair of dog and decide the mother must have done it.

3. Get asked by media what you are doing to find the missing child.

Go for lunch and tell other customers the mother must have done it, and carry on drinking - an important man like you needs to keep his strength up for 'interrogations'.

4. Get asked by parents of missing child what you are doing to find her.

Ask them if they have a fridge, and go to bar to get away from all this stress.

5. When asked what leads you are following, announce that you have a Thesis involving fridges.

Go to bar to work on Thesis.

6. Just to help things along, pass confidential information, carefully twisted to suit your Thesis, to Portuguese tabloids and assorted fat bloggers, then claim you can't say anything because of the Secrecy of Justice.

Shout loudly to anyone in the bar who will listen, about how the mother did it because she wears earrings and might have had a fridge.

7. Accuse police officers from other forces of being spies, and agents of foreign governments, when they point out that your Thesis is a load of cobblers, and ask why you aren't doing anything about finding the missing child.

Go to bar to brood about insults to your Honour.

8. Decide to show that you are a top tec by trying to frame the parents of missing child.

Go to bar to brood about the injustice of not being able to 'help' parents of this missing child down police station stairs due to their Ambassador and police watching you like a hawk.

9. Decide you won't bother with all that boring 'evidence' stuff - who needs that, when your officers are dab hands at interpretting dreams? And anyway, the mother must have done it, because she wears earrings, just like the one you 'helped' down the police station stairs who wore red trousers.

Sit in bar brooding about the injustice of your superiors telling you to shape up or ship out.

10. Get kicked off case for incompetence, trying to frame parents, shouting abuse at journos, leaking info to journos and generally being an embarrassment to your uniform and country.

Sit in bar for evermore, brooding and plotting ways to make parents of missing child even more miserable, leading up to you launching a vendetta against them with help from assorted fat bloggers and nutters in the UK.

Missing children? Who cares about them - it's your Honour that's the important thing.