BROWN INSULTS PORTUGAL, SAYS PDL LOCALS SELL THEIR CHILDREN FOR SEX

Yes, Gentle Readers, right on the eve of her departure for Portugal, 'Awesome' Brown has taken it upon herself to say just about the worst thing possible about the people of Portugal in general, and the residents of PDL in particular.

She made this shameful comment on her blog, when explaining why Madeleine McCann could not possibly have been abducted.

Why would anyone bother, reasoned the awesome superstar of blogradio?

There it is, in all its horror.

A paedophile ring in PDL wouldn't have bothered abducting a 'foreign child', because the locals sell their children for sex, and sometimes just loan them out.

Could someone let immigration at Lisbon Airport know what is heading in their direction, please?

Oh, and it might be a good idea if the police presence in PDL was stepped up, as 'Awesome' is liable to get a rather hostile reception from the locals she has declared routinely sell their children for sex.

CAST OF GHOUL TOUR #2 ANNOUNCED

Forkertainment Tonite! is delighted to bring Gentle Readers this exciting hateworld news, straight from the dank, maniac-haunted hills of Horridwood.

There's been a lot of buzz about this project; we've had to wait four years for the follow-up to the original blockbuster, but at last, it's been green-lighted and the major players revealed.

Playing the female lead of FoxyBlondie is none other than Bushmeat Brown herself:

Bushmeat hopes this will be her breakout role from the backwaters of blogradio.

Male lead of LaffinThug? Why, who else could it be but 'Big Rock' Gonc?

Big Rock hopes this will advance his career, as he is fed up of playing the dead South American guy in CSI Miami.

Sophia de Lansaret plays Astro,  their reluctant hostess, terrified that there will be a repeat of the unruly behaviour we all enjoyed watching in the original.

Joana Morais and Ricardo Paiva both play lesser roles as themselves. They are secretly appalled by the crass behaviour of Bushmeat, especially after she has been at the vintage port, but are too scared to speak out and condemn the interloper.

The horror is provided by Freddie Kruger, played by David Brat.

Lucky old Brat - he doesn't need make-up to play the role!

Tiny Bonnett is a newcomer to the big screen, but he makes the most of his role as the demented stalker who hides in people's gardens.

Tango and Chucky will make brief cameo appearances, playing themselves as the Village Madwoman and the Village Idiot respectively.

Robert Murat will NOT be making an appearance in this sequel; we are reliably informed that he has never been the same after the first production, and indeed has hired armed guards and installed electric fences to keep Bushmeat at bay.

There is no script; as with the first production, the cast are going to make it up as they go along, as they stumble from one castatrophe to another, to the amusement of viewers. Any resemblance to the Blair Witch Project is purely co-incidental, we are assured.

Ghoul Tour #2 is to be filmed in ForkerVision by HideHo and her team; special HateGoggles will be handed out to viewers in the hope they understand what the cast are doing and saying.

Souvenir frames from Ghoul Tour 2# will be on sale in the foyer in special, sealed, boxed sets. Duarte Levy is the man in charge of them, so as usual, they will be in sets of 24. When the customer pays £10,000 for them and tries to view them at home, all they will see is the Man Mountain giving them the finger, with the caption, There's One Born Every Minute.


Sounds like they've thought of everything!

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