BROWN INSULTS PORTUGAL, SAYS PDL LOCALS SELL THEIR CHILDREN FOR SEX

Yes, Gentle Readers, right on the eve of her departure for Portugal, 'Awesome' Brown has taken it upon herself to say just about the worst thing possible about the people of Portugal in general, and the residents of PDL in particular.

She made this shameful comment on her blog, when explaining why Madeleine McCann could not possibly have been abducted.

Why would anyone bother, reasoned the awesome superstar of blogradio?

There it is, in all its horror.

A paedophile ring in PDL wouldn't have bothered abducting a 'foreign child', because the locals sell their children for sex, and sometimes just loan them out.

Could someone let immigration at Lisbon Airport know what is heading in their direction, please?

Oh, and it might be a good idea if the police presence in PDL was stepped up, as 'Awesome' is liable to get a rather hostile reception from the locals she has declared routinely sell their children for sex.

CAST OF GHOUL TOUR #2 ANNOUNCED

Forkertainment Tonite! is delighted to bring Gentle Readers this exciting hateworld news, straight from the dank, maniac-haunted hills of Horridwood.

There's been a lot of buzz about this project; we've had to wait four years for the follow-up to the original blockbuster, but at last, it's been green-lighted and the major players revealed.

Playing the female lead of FoxyBlondie is none other than Bushmeat Brown herself:

Bushmeat hopes this will be her breakout role from the backwaters of blogradio.

Male lead of LaffinThug? Why, who else could it be but 'Big Rock' Gonc?

Big Rock hopes this will advance his career, as he is fed up of playing the dead South American guy in CSI Miami.

Sophia de Lansaret plays Astro,  their reluctant hostess, terrified that there will be a repeat of the unruly behaviour we all enjoyed watching in the original.

Joana Morais and Ricardo Paiva both play lesser roles as themselves. They are secretly appalled by the crass behaviour of Bushmeat, especially after she has been at the vintage port, but are too scared to speak out and condemn the interloper.

The horror is provided by Freddie Kruger, played by David Brat.

Lucky old Brat - he doesn't need make-up to play the role!

Tiny Bonnett is a newcomer to the big screen, but he makes the most of his role as the demented stalker who hides in people's gardens.

Tango and Chucky will make brief cameo appearances, playing themselves as the Village Madwoman and the Village Idiot respectively.

Robert Murat will NOT be making an appearance in this sequel; we are reliably informed that he has never been the same after the first production, and indeed has hired armed guards and installed electric fences to keep Bushmeat at bay.

There is no script; as with the first production, the cast are going to make it up as they go along, as they stumble from one castatrophe to another, to the amusement of viewers. Any resemblance to the Blair Witch Project is purely co-incidental, we are assured.

Ghoul Tour #2 is to be filmed in ForkerVision by HideHo and her team; special HateGoggles will be handed out to viewers in the hope they understand what the cast are doing and saying.

Souvenir frames from Ghoul Tour 2# will be on sale in the foyer in special, sealed, boxed sets. Duarte Levy is the man in charge of them, so as usual, they will be in sets of 24. When the customer pays £10,000 for them and tries to view them at home, all they will see is the Man Mountain giving them the finger, with the caption, There's One Born Every Minute.


Sounds like they've thought of everything!

NOT © Forkertainment Tonite!

SPUDGUN HARDY SPOUTS DEATH THREATS, OBSCENITY AND SODOMY

WARNING - THE LANGUAGE USED BY SPUDGUN HARDY TO ISSUE THESE THREATS  IS DISGUSTING; ANY DECENT, NORMAL PERSON WILL BE SHOCKED BY THIS DEPRAVITY


The McCann-haters favorite video maker thought there was nothing at all wrong with posting this disgusting, obscene threat of deviant sexual  violence to another twitter user on FB:

Naturally, the other haters tried to laugh it off as 'only messing'; Spudders didn't see anything wrong with it, and carried on with his obscene attack.

And this is the creature the forkers, haters and ghouls all think is a genius? Must have pretty low standards..

Not content with that, the depraved creature is now publically issuing death threats:

No wonder it and its vile chums took such pleasure in harrassing and abusing a woman who dared to disagree with them.

I suppose all his fans do know they tried to get the woman sacked? Their conduct was so sadistic and vicious, Ricardo Paiva of the PJ stepped in and told them to stop it; rumor has it that all ties with the haters and forkers has now been broken because of these cyber-Nazi thugs.

Never mind, if Spudgun Hardy keeps up the threats of sexual violence, and neck-breaking,  he will be going somewhere his stunning good looks will be appreciated.

Jes' call me Bubba, y'all

________________________________________________________________________

NOT ©; please feel free to spread Spudgun Hardy's Spoutings far and wide.

LA TRIBU DES GROTESQUES/ The Grotesque Tribe

The French literary world is acclaiming a new masterpiece this weekend - La Tribu Des Grotesques, a social satire which goes where Lord of the Flies feared to tread.


Set on an imaginary island , Pitchforkeius,  where the criminally insane are kept away from the rest of society, the book tells of the internecine fighting and bloodshed as the wretches fight to be acclaimed  Lord of Pitchforkeius.


We meet such characters as Tiny Bonnett, described as resembling a tall, balding tramp, and his sometime consort, the cackling Petal Black, who daily whip their adherents into fresh bouts of cannibalistic violence against 'Unbelievers'.


Bonnett and Black hold a dark secret - the earlier fruit of their liason, a malformed, demonic offspring they refer to as The Brat, and try to keep confined in a dank cave. Whenever The Brat escapes, he attacks BonnettBelievers and Unbelievers alike in his thirst for vengeance.


All the inhabitants of Pitchforkeius worship and fear an entity they call 'PJ AMORAL', or Big Rock. PJ Amoral has never set foot on Pitchforkeius, but his thoughts are passed to his worshippers by an Oracle known as Joanie Moreass.


Being lunatics, the Pitchforkeians are all in thrall to the Full Moon, when their worst excesses are committed. At Full Moon, the book warns,  they try to lure passing seafarers onto their island colony, to abuse and insult, before devouring the Outsiders.


Petal Black is described in the novel as being especially dangerous at Full Moon, as this is when she consumes the brew she has made from fermented mandrake roots, lizards' tongues, and rat entrails.


Little do the Tribe know, they can never leave the Island; they have been deemed too incurably dangerous to the rest of society to ever be permitted to re-enter the world of the sane.


They are doomed to spend their days chanting wierd cries, such as les chiens ne mentent pas and telling each other myths about Aces.


La Tribu Des Grotesques ends with a final outbreak of savagery, with every faction turning on every other faction, till only one of them is left standing to finally claim the title, Lord of Pitchforkeius.


Alas, the book does not tell us who the victorious wretch is; possibly because the author has ceased to care what the lunatics do or who they do it to, as long as it doesn't involve normal human beings.

GHOUL OF THE YEAR - 2011 FORKER AWARDS

It's been a vintage year for hate-spewers everywhere, hasn't it, Gentle Readers? Kate McCann's book 'Madeleine' drove the forkers to new heights of abuse, and hilarious predictions that 'no-one' would buy it, because 'no-one' believed the McCanns.

Naturally, it was a runaway success, with extracts read by millions in the Sun, and book sales worth over £2,500,000 in the UK alone. And that is just the hardback - the forkers demonstrating yet again that they are incapable of ever getting anything right.

Picking  the Leading Ghoul of 2011 hasn't been easy, with so many contenders, but Gentle Readers will be relieved to know it has been narrowed down to the final four - the Hindley Fan took an early lead with remarks like this:

but fell behind after her fellow ghouls told her to STFU as she was getting them a bad name.

So, the final four, in reverse order.

4. The not-very-famous gossip, David Bret, who took time off from playing Freddie Kruger's Evil Twin to make obscene 'jokes' about Kate McCann, and other women he was jealous of. Made a strong start, but fell behind when he started expressing a desire for the McCanns, Sun reporters and others, to die horribly.

He ended the year as a laughing stock when the Sun failed to apologise to him; rumor has it that the Sun is saving all his posts about Sun reporters dying in car crashes for a special edition.

3. Anthony Bennett, the Harlow Hounder. He seemed in a strong position at the start of the year, but then failed to stand up to Carter Ruck as he had promised.

He has had to make involuntary donations to the Find Madeleine Fund already, and is facing contempt of court charges in the New Year.

There is a chance he could go to jail for contempt; sources say he would in fact be happy to occupy a cell for a while, because at least he would be out of reach of his former ally LaffinThug, who wants his £400+ back from Bennett.

2. The wellspring of all the ghoulery, the creator of the Fridge Theory in person - Gonc Amaral, the disgraced PJ bungler with the criminal conviction for lying.

Normally, he would have won, but being kicked out by his  wife, his landlord, and the PJ Old Boys' Association makes him, well, a loser.

Despite wearing hats while being strikingly tall and intellectual.

There can only be one winner, so step forward....

BUSHMEAT BROWN, THE QUEEN OF THE GHOULS

It has to be Brown  - only a truly sick forker could dream up a scenario involving Gerry McCann mummifying his eldest daughter in the hot, dry sands of a beach on the Atlantic, then smuggling her back to the UK on Easyjet in his hand luggage.

She further earned her crown by deciding it was OK for her to say things like that about the McCanns, but no-one is allowed to criticise her, and is now pretending she is going to sue the McCanns because she failed to make mega-bucks from her grubby, error-strewn leaflet.

Brown also exploited the  stupid, nasty, ignorant forkers for a few $$$ and to get her vast ego stroked.  She then dropped them like hot potatoes when they got too embarrassing, so now her erstwhile allies are out for her blood.

Let's hear it for Pat Brown, Ghoul of the Year!

HARLOW RESIDENTS WARNED TO WATCH OUT FOR STALKER

Do not, under any circumstances, let this individual onto your property.

He has 'previous' for hiding in people's shrubberies to spy on them, and photographing their home security systems and posting the photos on the internet, for the benefit of his stalker friends.

He likes to keep copies for his 'family album'.

Make sure you tell your postman to be extra-wary - there is nothing this scoundrel likes better than posting private correspondence on the internet, so all his friends can read it and hound the senders and their families.

He has been known to boast about damaging council property at the expense of you, the tax payer. He likes sneaking about in the dark.

He is currently facing charges which may lead to a jail sentence in the New Year.

Don't panic if you see this character, just let the police deal with him - they're used to him and his racist remarks about police officers.

Mind how you go - and have a stalker-free Christmas!

OH, THE MELODRAMA!!!! IT'S DUELLING PITCHFORKERS!!!!!!

Just released for the Christmas entertainment market.....

More about this battle of nonentities exploiting a missing child at:

http://davidbretisagod.forumotion.co.uk/